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Today, I celebrate myself

Do I contradict myself?

Very well then I contradict myself,

(I am large, I contain multitudes.}    Walt Whitman

 

 

Let it not be said that my God is a faux god.

Let it not be said that I was not broken.

Let it not be said that I stayed broken.

Let it not be said that I lost in the battle of love.

Let it not be said that I do not contradict myself.

Let it not be said that I am ONE—I am an entity.

Let it not be said that I am not a paradox.

Let it not be said that I am a perfect being.

Let it not be said that I did not fail.

Let it not be said that I never felt insecure.

Let it not be said that I never felt vulnerable and weak.

Let it not be said that I, Àlàní, who ate 20 wraps of pap and asked for more is not the son of my father.

Let it not be said that I kept quiet in the face of tyranny.

Let it not be said that I was cowered into silence by shame and her agents of backbiters.

Let it not be said that I’m ashamed of who I am.

For I am ME, and today I celebrate all of ME; the ME that was, the ME that is, and the ME that would be.

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The chronicles of a wanderer by Olusegun Tinubu

IMG_0402My lies became my truth

My delusions turned out to be my reality,

The constant conflict between who I am and whom I want to be,

The tug-of-war between “self” and “truth”,

The strife between my conscious and subconscious

My heart beliefs steady overwhelming my theoretical beliefs

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Who is going to win this war?

Who is going to aid me in this war?

Where is my Arsenal?

The finish line seems close but yet far from over.

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This period of transition is killing,

The period of rising and falling.

Perhaps even more challenging than the animalistic days.

Who will fight for me?

Who has my back?

Who will pull me up when I fall? 

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Perhaps the spiritual sword

Or the intellectual’s theory

Maybe it doesn’t exist

Maybe it’s embedded in my delusions.

Or in my innermost thoughts.

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Victory is a must!